My beloved shadow and me

03/03/2023 Nilson Lattari

Punctually, I open the coffee shop where I work, and she goes into it like a bird and a drawn smile on her face. Then, I imagine her with her clear white teeth smiling at her coworkers, friends, and others.
For a moment, in the coffee shop, she’s only mine and I bring a hot coffee, two cupcakes, her favourites, and her perfume dominates the air. After that, she puts her purse on a chair next to her. Her mouth absorbs the black beverage and she smiles comfortably, finally.
I exchange a few words with her however I don’t have any subject to talk about. I have only desires to tell her that I would be happy if I had a girlfriend like her. What would she answer me? Probably, she smiled at me and thought that it was a joke.
She stands up and my eyes follow her to the door and I imagine my shadow pursuing her through the streets. I can see her among people watching the wind enjoying her long black hair like the wings of an angel who fell to earth.
My shadow is not shy, it is not afraid of anything, but who would hear a shadow? My shadow is me when it passes through people, invisible, the same people that see me, invisible too, serving snacks in a store; they see only two hands but not a face.
My shadow wanders behind her walking down the streets. Then she’s occupied in her job, and listens to her anguishes, and watches her sitting on a chair, thinking over a document, looking at a screen computer, and typing on the keyboard. Suddenly, she stands up and looks for someone to show him a paper or to find a cup of coffee to refresh her mind.
When she went back home, my shadow still follows her, trying to find spaces among people, almost touching her arm to indicate to her the best way. She feels a cold on her skin caused by my tender touch, between a paternal kind touch and the desire of a thirsty lover.
I follow her through the night, whispering her name and I see her turning over her face looking for someone calling but my shadow is disguised among others. I can see her eyebrows moving up as she admired hearing her name floating in the dark.
She passes in front of the coffee shop and she doesn’t see me inside it but I can see her arriving punctually. For a moment my glance is lost on the pavement full of people and I feel better watching her.
My shadow goes into the shop and it dreams in my imagination, ready to wait for her the next morning bringing to me her bright smile to illuminate my life.