What I want

28/11/2025 Nilson Lattari

Please, don’t be so dramatic. I hate your vulgar and inappropriate behaviour. Please, don’t pay my bills, and don’t ask me to share our expenses. Don’t tell me whether money or holding a senior position in a company can create distance between two people. By the way, it’s too early to play with limits, responsibilities, routines and other circumstances that remind me of barracks, salutes and clean, perfect clothes.
Perhaps I would like to be the man of the house, and you could be the woman, even if one of us earns more than the other- pure fantasy, as everyone knows our life.
Don’t disturb me when I’m in silent, and don’t ask me what I’m thinking about. In the end, everyone has their rights and secrets. I can play with my memories and think about my bad choices in the past; I can change them, as everyone does. Try to do the same, and respect who you are.
Perhaps I have missed you, and I’m embarrassed to say it. I would like to do many things with you while you are taking care of your nails, painting them with colours mean nothing. And while I’m watching football on TV, I don’t want to hear about your mother, our children or what your brother did yesterday.
Don’t bring me tea when I’m sick, and don’t try to tell me jokes to please me; I don’t like them. I don’t want to be a child again. I like it when you encourage me with words, but don’t say them loudly like moral lessons or use examples from people you have met. I don’t want to have my mother again; she exhausted me with her lifestyle. I respect both you and her, but two respects don’t fit in the same pot.
In fact, I would like you to hold me, keep silent, and just be my companion; my partner.
And about kitchen utensils, please ignore me when I forget to put salt in the food, when the beef stays too long in the frying pan, or when the tomatoes are so big because I didn’t cut them properly. Believe me when I say t got this recipe on YouTube. The guy calls himself ‘the chief’, but it is unnecessary to say that he is crazy with pans in his hands, hitting a wet frying pan against his head while trying to remember the original recipe.
Maybe I tried making it once, and I didn’t do it properly. I wanted to surprise you, even though I have no idea about cooking. Let me cook without recipes, please.
Don’t remind me all the time, seconds, hours or keep pointing out tasks on the calendar. I know I have to take the clothes to the laundry on Thursday. I’m fed up with your opinion that soccer should be on Mondays and not on Sundays because Sundays are rest days. Let me just watch the TV, and follow the magic ball rolling across the green pitch, and don’t ask me why the referees are cool for one and not for another. Don’t try to understand it, just watch the game. Don’t criticise the woman watching the match, wearing short shorts, with her beautiful legs, crying because her team missed a goal while men around her stare. While I watch TV, don’t talk about what your friends are doing or someone you’ve met, or how angry you are because no one pays attention to you.
You cannot imagine that I would like to be there, in the stadium, kissing you, only to appear on TV.
Try to understand what complicity means. It is not about people marching without purpose, colleagues celebrating something, or a group of people watching a movie together.
You have never understood that complicity means being a companion, someone who buys things to decorate our home: a picture, a new carpet, maybe expensive items. Complicity is pursuing a stupid dream, celebrating a promotion, or waiting for one. Please, don’t create obstacles as if your arms were long enough to stop my fall.
Just follow me.
Don’t invite me to dance if I don’t want to, and don’t pretend to be uncomfortable if someone tries to invite you. Don’t look at me as if you were staring into the void while another woman passes with an insane smile on her face. If you decide to follow me, why don’t I follow you? Because after all this drama, you and I will sleep embraced – like two children.