Dreams, our dreams

21/07/2023 Nilson Lattari

What does a violet dream? I had this thought when I was in my bedroom window and I looked at a balcony in front of me where there was a violet dancing with the wind. It was in a ceramic vase decorated with black and highlighted drawings that reminded me of aboriginal themes.
I don’t know if I was thinking about the violet’s dreams or about the dreams that it would have when its owner cherished its petals, and made her arrangements of flowers. Maybe its owner dreamed as well, I thought. Of course, she dreamed: my neighbour. In fact, I was thinking about her, looking at her violet, sweetly illuminated by the pale light that came from her flat How many times did her hands touch it and when was the last time she water it? How many times did she bring water in a recipient and put it on the dry ground?
My cigarette became an ember and lighted up my face. My lungs burnt when I absorbed its smoke. My neighbour, a lot of time, in our informal conversations in the lift revealed that she didn’t like smokers. I, cynically, denied my habit. Did her glance deduce that I was lying? Quickly, I hid my hands because I was afraid that she could identify yellow signals on my fingers. Then I talked to her while I looked at the floor because I didn’t want her to smell my cigarette. I got mad at myself.
But I love flowers! I always loved them. I have never seen my neighbour on her balcony. Ok! I’m lying again. Sometimes, I saw her and praised her violet. She told me its history. A relative gave it to her. And I felt jealous that maybe a lover had given it. Did men give flowers in a vase as a gift? I grinned.
My balcony was on the other side and her bedroom window was next to some lucky guy. I would like to stay there admiring my violet neighbour then I waited for the moment that she visited it. Sometimes, she arrived there and we started talking, and I hid my cigarette, of course.
It’s easy to understand that she was my crush. She was beautiful, pretty beautiful. She was the reason for the comments in the community. One of these people was Bonilha that lived on the first floor, a boring guy. When we met in the lift, we wait for kick him off on his floor. Sometimes, he tried to visit me and I knew his intention. I played innocent and he felt bad, and I provoked Luciana, that’s her name, to laugh a lot.
What does Luciana dream when she sleeps? The same dreams of her beautiful and perfect violet that danced with the wind on her balcony? I imagined touching its velvety skin that seduced me maybe imagining the same suavity of its petals and the my neighbour’s skin.
The last time that I met her in the lift she told me that she admired a balcony with a lot of flowers that she saw from her flat. And asked me who was living there. I told her that balcony was mine. She asked me if she would love to know it.
Then, I invited her but I asked for some moments and she laughed. I assumed that she imagined my bad habit, and played with her long black hair.
She visited my balcony and fell in love with my flowers, while I disguised my cigarette smell. Luciana fell asleep in my bedroom and now I’m standing here in my window while she is sleeping in my bed. From my window, I’m looking at her violet on the balcony and I keep thinking: What do violets dream when their owners are absent?